I Make My White Friends Angry

On June 2, 2020 I posted a series of videos on Instagram where I spoke my truth. That day, and a day or two before, many people were posting black squares in order to “Amplify Black Voices.” There were hash-tags like, “I’m listening,” “Time to listen and learn,” “Black Lives Matter” and “Solidarity.”

So I took to my Insta that day and for many days that followed. I amplified the voice that I had kept stifled for the majority of my life, in order to code switch and blend in. The voice I muted to make sure my white friends and family felt at ease around my blackness.

In those weeks I was in shock.

I was in pain.

I was ANGRY.

And like every single black person I know, I was fed up.

Apparently, I said some things that hurt my white friend’s feelings. It was cloaked hurt, though, because the truth is, I made them angry.

How do I know this? Well, not because they told me, but because they got quiet. Real quiet. Like, disappeared quiet.

If you know me at all, you know I’m a contrarian. I’m rebellious. When I go to a store and a salesperson says, “This is our most popular…” I immediately don’t like whatever it is. BUT, I’m also an insecure actor who craves attention and acceptance.