Ugh- I had a similar thing happen with my MIL (even though not married) She told me my kids were spoiled and it was my fault and then proceeded to tell me how to "fix" them. Over time, her verbal abuse got worse: telling me I was "graceless" and that I used her son as a sperm donor!! It got bad. Lot's of me having her yell in my face, while my partner did and said nothing. Unfortunately, she really pulled our union apart; inserting herself between my partner and I. You sound strong and like you have a clear understanding of your in-laws. I hope that you and your partner are on the same page and can make sure his parents don't try to sabotage your relationship. Stay strong, mama.